Sep 1976
THE TWELVE COMMANDMENTS OF DUMP TRUCKING
1. Thou shalt NOT dump while on unlevel ground having one set of tires more than 4-inches higher than thy other set, for
surely one day thy load will hang-up on the low side and thy dump truck will fall down beside thee. Great oaths and sworn
statements as to how many times thou hast dumped thy load in worst places shall be to no purpose for dump truck
buddies will forsake thee, thy motor pool officer will bring forth a statement of charges, and thy prospects for future driving
anything bigger than a wheelbarrow with leather gloves will be much in doubt.
2. Thou shalt be darn sure that thy PTO and thy hydraulic pump are NOT engaged whilst thy travel upon the road or
highways. The view of 12-miles of power and telephone cable draped gracefully around thy cab protector and hoist
cylinder is not pleasing to responsible authorities and, further, the sight of thy dump body resting firmly propped as a third
pier of a two pier bridge doth stir them to such great anger that thou art compelled to dwell in their guardhouse for many
days and many nights and to be deprived of feminine companionship, strong drink, Saturday football, and all pay and
allowances during that time.
3. Thou shalt NOT permit another rig to dump whilst alongside thine, not to thy left and not to thy right, lest the dump
truck driver be lacking in skill and upset his truck on top of thine. The humor of such an occurrence may elicit smiles and
boisterous laughter from thy buddies but will not be apparent to thy sergeant and should only be reported unto him after
determining that in neither hand does he hold a tire billy or other blunt instrument.
4. Thou shalt be certain that thy hydraulic system and thy hydraulic system's hoses are in good condition at all times lest
a hydraulic system malfunction or a worn hose blow out at a time whilst thou tryest to dump a 40,000 pound load, 30 miles
from the motor pool in 15 degree windy weather and thou findest it necessary to unload it 10-pounds at a time with a
shovel, hand operated, long handle, M1A7.
5. Thou shalt permit filling of thy dump body only up to within 6 inches of the top of thy sides or thy side-boards and,
further, thou shalt NOT allow rocks, gravel, sand, or any other commodity to spill from thy vehicle lest they cut a tire or
bash in the windshield of the Provost Marshal behind thee. A calamity of that nature may cause thee and thy dump truck
to be considered a hazard to the motoring public in general and Provost Marshals in particular and thee to be considered
unfit to fill out dump truck trip tickets, carry a dump truck license in thy chaindrive wallet, or other emblems of thy dump
truck driving profession.
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